How I Want To Disappear
by PolandSpringz
Summary: The truth behind Kido's wish.


"Tsubomi-chan, keep away from the fire, I don't want you getting injured."

That's what my father always said. He was always so gentle and sensitive when it came to my feelings. It was good to have someone on my side somewhat, even if rest of the residents of the estate despised me. Although I was not welcome in this home, my father allowed me to spend some nights with him in front of the fireplace, while he sat in his desk chair and worked. He would shout a reminder to me every few hours, making sure I was safe. When he had time, he'd sit beside me and talk to me. He would tell me how his business was doing, but before I went to bed; he would hug me and say to me, "I'm sorry you have to carry this pain alone, Tsubomi-chan." I know it was his way of comforting me, but it still hurt. I know that he should have said, "You don't have to carry this pain alone," but he technically was correct. No one hated him in the family, not even after he committed adultery. Yet, I was hated, despised. I heard the servants and my relatives' whispers of their thoughts on me. The rumors are always circulated, and my half-sister made sure I always knew what people thought of me.

I watched through the doorway to my father's study. At the cherry wood desk, he sat facing away from the door, his desk being placed beside the fireplace at the far wall. I saw him get up and begin to pace across the room, clutching a handful of crumbled papers. His daily, placid smile was gone and replaced with a brooding frown. His forehead was wrinkled, and he ran his free hand through his dark olive hair, the same shade as mine, and he was sweating. I heard him mumble quietly to himself, he took a deep breath in between rushed sentences and I caught some of his worries.

"..Debts…Bankrupt….Failure….Last Resort….Tonight…Tonight I must…"

I eventually decided to leave the room and I passed by my half-sister. She shot me a glare, forcing me to stare at the ground as I passed by her and sat down on the parlor couch. After she left, I fell asleep against the smooth leather.

My awakening, forced me to be alone, for I was the alone in the parlor that connected to the study, and I heard screams come from outside the rooms. I ran into the study to get my father to see what was going on, but I was stopped by the orange light that quivered in front of my face. I saw my father in the middle of the flames, standing right in front of the fireplace. I heard his agonizing screams and I saw his silhouette behind the orange fury. I ran forward, yelling his name. I had tears now. As I grew close, I saw what the agonizing screams actually were.

He was laughing manically as he pranced around, throwing papers and files into the fireplace and onto the floor, setting the carpet on fire. I stood in shock as my father began to laugh once more.

"Now…No one will know…no one will know and no one can hurt me…THEY WONT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING! AHAHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Suddenly, he turned to me and I saw a different man. This man had the same olive hair and dark eyes as my father, but his skin was pale, his face was twisted. I watched as his pushed pass me, running out of the room. The door shut. I raced towards it as fast I could.

"Father! FATHER! Father let me out! Father let me out!" I heard the cracklings of sparks and I turned back towards the fireplace to see a wall of flames surrounding me. I began to cry. "I wanted to disappear but not like this! I don't want to die!"

I suddenly heard the sound of the door opening and felt someone tackle me. The door shut abruptly again, and I found my half-sister behind me. She was crying as well. I stood up as the flames towered above us. I gently hugged her I covered her eyes. I didn't want her to see what was engulfing our lives.

I couldn't help but cry.

I no longer wanted to die.

I didn't want to fade out of this world; I just wanted to disappear from their sight.

Suddenly, I felt the pain leave me. I felt myself leave a part of me behind. Did I die? I certainly


End file.
